nostalgia

Jun. 29th, 2017 09:31 pm
bree_zee: (Default)
[personal profile] bree_zee
I was thinking about the first time I saw AJ so many decades ago. It was like the story book- my heart stopped, my breath caught, I was aware of every single molecule of his body. The messy swoops of his hair and day old scruff. The quirky smile. Maybe it was just the cape. Every girl should fall in love with a man in a cape at least once in her life.

And I remember the last time I saw Del. I mostly remember his mouth. How I wanted to kiss it even as I broke up with him. How I wanted to hear him say the words that he was choosing me. And I remember the quirky way he smiled when he got naughty and dirty minded. How his little spider monkey body would crawl over me.

Listening to Leo's heart break is tougher than I thought. I know I'm over him. Have been for a while but I know the pain he's feeling all too well.

I went out to dinner the other night by myself and for the first time in a while didn't like being by myself. I watched the people around me. I miss being a part of others.

Tonight as I was burning my spaghetti sauce and killing the fucking ants still in my kitchen I realized that tomorrow when the bug man comes he will have been the first outsider inside my house since the last time he was there. That's pretty fucking pathetic.
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