Jul. 10th, 2017

Pil-hades

Jul. 10th, 2017 10:36 pm
bree_zee: (Default)
Ow. Ow. Ow. Did I say ow? Fuck I hurt. Yesterday's class focused on core and my core is feeling cored.

It was a busy day. Met with what's left of my team and we planned out the remainder of the year. I'm not too worried. I'll do a handful of audits but they'll pull most of the weight. I've got a ton of other things to do so that's ok. Put in 3 hours after the day for CP.

I'm trying to shake the melancholy but I'm stuck on thoughts I shouldn't be having. Thoughts that get me nowhere. It's always at night. As i try and wind down. It's just so quiet and I sit in the dark or in front of the tv and know I'll be doing this for a while. I realized that 27 years ago I was Meem's daughter. 27 yrs from now, I'll be my mom. Fuck if that's not depressing. That's of course if I live that long.

I try not to get too hypochondriachal. I keep counting the prescriptions. The number keeps going up. I keep pretending it's different. It's for pain and vitamin deficiency but it doesn't help. I just see the number of bottles.

I'm obsessing. So I think of tiny houses and campers. Finishing this book. And that book.

Talked to doodle tonight. I miss her so much. Listening to her talk of what's next fills me up. I kind of hope she goes down toward hometown because then I would have an excuse for moving back there.

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